it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
