they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
