If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
