I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
