dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
