We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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