my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
