We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
