so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
