Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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