hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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