considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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