god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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