That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
