So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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