Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the condom got lost in my hair
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
