Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
