If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Mom said you looked used
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
