I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
