I must be too annoying 4 u.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Quick, to the slutcave!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
