I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
