Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
