Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
