DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
