Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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