can u get pink eye on your cock?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
