i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
