and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
