So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
