you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
