Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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