My sheets look like a crime scene.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
