So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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