I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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