I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
