Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
