I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
