I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
