I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he fucked my hip out of place.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize