would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
