Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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