I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
