I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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