everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
