So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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