11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
