it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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