Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
