How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
