dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
