Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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