Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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