I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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