Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
