He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
