she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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