It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
