What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize