So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize