susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize