YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize