how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Randomize
