My brain says no but my pants say off.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
