lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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