ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
