I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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