Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize