she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
